Hey, do we really have a choice?, like are we born like this?

Don't think so. I believe we(I) worked hard at hiding and finding new and more creative ways to feel good.

Now I just have to pay a set price each day- How Sick- I know.

Life is not that terrible really, I am 75% happy- this Methadone really gets in the way of the personal married life, as far as intimacy goes.
I have been told many things about this stuff and nobody ever told me how much of a hold it would end up with on me. - I hate it.

I am babbling now- it's late, good night and God Bless.

P.S. I need to get to a Methadone meeting or somewhere to really get open and honest and just better- cause I am getting well(better,healthier).

I was lost broken and wanting to just feel better. When I was introduced to the possibility of getting an inexpensive drug supplied to me everyday at a really cheap price $5.50 per drink or rather per dosage I thought that would be great. No more chasing around trying to get my fix or my next feel good, heck, this would solve my life problems, I could start going to work everyday not worrying about having to leave to pick-up or whether or not my perscription (oxys) would last or not- they never lasted more than a day or two.

That was all too good to be true, because I fell for it>>>> and hard. That was 2 and a half years ago and today my life is as solid as mashed potatoes. I am a slave to methadone now for sure. Well I guess it is ALL my fault, I should have never started using drugs anyways. That is not quite where I want to go with this Blog, I am more interested of whether or not I am Alone in believing that I am a victim of sorts and or should have been a little more informed about the seriousness of Methadone or 'done' as the street calls it.

I want to try and propose something as it pertains to Methadone and the administering of it. I believe that, now that I am an experienced Methadone user I am more than qualified to speak on it's effects and hazards.

1st- what is the qualifications to become a Meth patient?

2nd- What are the qualifications of the Meth Doctor?are there any?

3rd- What are the statistics(since inception of Methadone)on successful recovery?

4th- Is there anything after methadone?

I am at a crossroads as to what to do with my life now, I have zero energy, no sex drive, my whole life and thinking is centered around getting my next drink.

Not a lot of different from before Meth. I Hate it.

Except that I have found out that the Pain of Withdrawl is far worse than any other Opiate I ever have had the displeasure of getting clean from.

Will this ever end?

I am now taking 130mls of methadone mix or 26 something that you x by 5 to get 130, anyways I have zero drive for life and nobody told me any of this to be prepared for my days as a methadone addict. Again I hate it I AM A TOTAL SLAVE- very embarrased and humbled at my state of affairs.

I think that this whole methadone thing is ALL about, what else- MONEY- what else could spawn so many new meth clinics popping up all over? Well I had though that I had come across a caring set of docs that had my best interests at heart. Oh for the gullable people as myself.

If you are a person to whom this type of life has become you as well then please talk to me.

I still am asked to get down to the clinic 2 times a week and to the pharmacy 5-7 days, depending ,I think, on my Dr.'s feelings or something, I don't know much but I do know that to run one of these clinics it is more profitable for them to just give you the drug, collect their money and send you on your way. I Hate this life.

But lo and behold, I am a surviver and I will survive in spite of the hoops that I am forced to jump through. I will just lead a life that is heartless and cold until then (I can't be heartless).

I say "down with methadone" as a means to just cover up your addiction and no to just being able to walk in and score some dope.